I really wonder what Noah thinks of Kavanaugh’s confirmation.
Let me explain who Noah is. Noah is the the man who raped me. His real name isn’t Noah. It’s something different. But in the interest of not getting sued I changed his name to Noah in my book. He was a student at my college and generally looks and acts like any normal person. I don’t think of Noah too often, but with everything going on, he’s certainly been on my mind.
Noah is a lot of things. He’s a person who ate something for breakfast. He has a job. He has friends and he’s also a rapist. It would be impossible for him to be unaware of the turmoil this country has been in and I wonder how the result has made him feel. I feel sad and disgusted. Noah probably feels vindicated.
Just before 4pm today, Kavanaugh was voted in to be a supreme court justice-50-48. He was also accused of sexual assault by three women, a fact that many find irrelevant.
Over the course of the hearings and FBI “investigation” Trump publicly made fun of victims and implied that we are crisis actors. And when a 15 year old survivor told Sen. Joe Machin about the sexual assault she endured at age 14, she was told, “you know what, this makes me uncomfortable.” She was interrupted as she cried and explained her pain and connection to Dr. Ford.
Sen. Susan Collins said that she believed Dr. Ford was assaulted, just not by Kavanaugh. You can’t have it both ways. You cannot pretend to be an ally. Both Machin and Collins voted to confirm.
This is a victory for rapists and toxic masculinity. It is a victory for the Noah’s of the world. It tells them that they are owed power over other human beings and when they take it there will be no consequences. It is a slap in the face to survivors of all genders. It tells us to remain silent and to fear retaliation and ridicule when we come forward.
Not to mention, women’s reproductive rights are now at risk, as is the environment, gun control, civil rights, and our ability to hold the president accountable for their actions. It is a sad day in our history.
If you feel uncomfortable like Sen. Machin, good. It should make you uncomfortable that rape culture is thriving and survivors are being mocked. After years of shame and silence, I cannot stop fighting even though it feels like today the battle was lost. We cannot stop fighting.
I know that Noah and Kavanaugh and Trump and so many others will continue to live their lives causing more harm than good. I also know that this confirmation has lit a fire under so many people who otherwise may not have cared or put a thought towards sexual assault and I feel change coming. Now more than ever it is so important to vote and to vote for candidates that value human dignity. I haven’t lost my faith in our country yet, there’s so much to fix, but we are not alone in the fight.
Thank you for reading,
Laurie